Things to Say on a Date.. (If you are a nerd)

Borg - You will be Assimilated

I recently got my hands on a copy of the Borg Star Trek Fan "Collective".

For those of you who aren't familiar with the Borg, shame on you! I'll leave the background research up to you, but please be aware that the rest of this post won't be funny.

On with Nerdom!

A day in the life of Borg and his girl (Mary)

(Over a coffee)

Mary - I saw a great pair of shoes today, they would look great with my red skrit
Borg - Shoes are irrelavent. Skirt is irrelavent.
Mary - Borg, there is no need to talk to me like that, I was just telling you about my day.. aren't you interested?
Borg - Talk is irrelevant Your day is irrelavant. We are Borg.
Mary - Well I never!
Borg - Well I never is irrelevant.

(In the car on the way home)

Mary - Borg, look out there's a stop sign!!
Borg - Stop sign is irrelavent.. We are Borg.
Mary - Ohh now the police are after us.

(Borg.. not slowing down)

Borg - Police are irrelavent.
Mary - Please stop Borg, for me.

(Borg - pausing to think for a few seconds)

Borg - We will comply. State your demands.
Mary - Demands?? What are you talking about Borg?
Borg - Demands are irrelevant. Talk is irrelevant.
Mary - Well now you are just being difficult.

(Borg stops the car, Police approaches)

Police - Excuse me sir, do you realise that you just ran a stop sign?
Borg - We are borg.
Police - Step out of the car
Mary - Do it.. for me please Borg.

(Borg steps out of car)

Police - Get up against the car, don't resist or ill shoot!
Borg - Resistance is futile.

(Police pulls gun)

Borg - You have technology that is of interest to us. You will be assimilated.

(Back in the Borg Shack)

Mary - Phew, what a day.. let's go to sleep.
Borg - Sleep is irrelavent. We are Borg.
Mary - Ohh, you are feeling frisky??... Ohh Borg, not tonight!
Borg - You will comply.
Mary - I have a headache.
Borg - Headache is irrelevant. You will comply
Mary - Ok, but just once.. and quickly, lets get it over with
Borg - Your species is of interest to us. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.