A List of Things of Weird Canadian Things. Things

- Canadian's say "Exaaaaactly" to demonstrate agreance.
eg/ Me - Oh, so that's what a power play is..
Canadian - Exaaaaaaactly.

- Canadians call a spanner a "Half-Crescent silver screw popper", then make fun of Australians for saying "spanner" by enounciating the "er" part of the word.
eg/ Randy - Hey, Cameron can you pass me the Half-Crescent silver screw popper?"
Me - wtf are you talking about?
Randy - You know, the SpannAAAAA (giggling to himself)
Me - Pfft

- Canadian's are part of the commonwealth yet spell the word "organisation" incorrectly.

- Canadian's like hockey. Alot.

- Canadian's word for mate is "buddy"

- Canadian's don't know what "Macca's" is. I had to explain this to someone.

- Uni is not a word in the Canadian dictionary.
eg/ Me - Yeah, sure I went to Uni.
Laura - What? Are you talking about Dungeon's and Dragon's? The Unicorn's name on that show was Uni.
Me - Uhh, yeah. sure.

- Canadian's minimum pay rate is $8.00 an hour. ( I know this because that is what I get paid)

- The Vancouver Cunucks (The Vancouver NHL (ice-hockey) team)) home games were sold out before the start of the season, for the whole season. Every, single, fucking, ticket.

- Downtown Vancouver has more Starbucks per capita than teenage girls with an IQ of >100

- Tim Horton's (an ex hockey player coffee chain, who now happens to be ex-alive (a.k.a dead, deceased, passed-on,away etc)) puts nicotine in their coffee!! (please don't sue me Mr Horton)

- I also hear that Macdonalds puts drugs in their Big Mac's. (Please don't sue)

- In British Columbia, Weed is easier to get during winter than a glimpse of the Sun.

- Bum's outnumber the combined total of the teenage downtown population I.Q's.

- People from Vancouver hate Toronto

- The Toronto Raptors suck.

- There aren't any Raptors in Toronto.

- Someone built a tunnel from Canada to the states to smuggle weed, the police waited until the tunnel was opened then shut it down. Sadistic Bastards..

- There is a place called the Amsterdam Cafe, where you can.. umm, smoke and buy weed from? The cops know its there, Weed is illegal.. what am I missing here? (It's located across from a place called the Seed Palace or something.

- Just down the road from the Amsterdam Cafe is the Cambie Hotel, where the most famous man in the city resides. Known as the Jukebox Man (there are several of them, so technically it should be the Jukebox men), he sits in the same place, day after day and sells.. weed. The cops surely know about him, weed is illegal.. hmm what am I missing here?

- Pedestrians have right of way in intersections where there are no lights for crossing, but cars don't stop. It's basically a free for all.

- There are 4 way stop signs. (First in, best dressed). Don't get me started on the roundabouts. Thank god they are rare, I still haven't figured out which way I should be looking when I cross the street.

- Sometimes, you don't get to press the button to make the green walk man come out.

- The green walk man is pigment free (in other words, he is colourless.. no green men for Canadians.)

- The stop man is still red though.

- So you have a white go man and a red stop man. The same colours as the Canadian flag. It's some sort of government conspiracy/code/sign/illegal camera thing, im sure of it

- Canadians have stupid names for their shops. Like Future Shop. This place doesn't have ANYTHING from the Future in it. It's all stuff that has already been invented. Like CD's and shit like that. Misleading? Shit yeah. Then there is "The Bay". Think there is any water there?, what about The Source? You are thinking they sell stuff to put on your chips? WRONG!! (Dickhead) They sell Electronics (Just shit that has already been invented though). What about Loonie Town? Think you will find a bunch of crazies there? Fuck no!! What a let down!! And the Commodore Ball room? Cars? This place is a friggen nightclub! The Stone Temple? No trace of God. Another night club! And Vera Burger? Plenty of Burgers but no sign of Vera anywhere. What about The Gap? I walked in expecting to fall into a hole (then sue the pants off of them). No sign of a hole but plenty of pants. What about this one... The Roots. I went in there expecting to find all sorts of kinky shit and all they sell are clothes with "CANADA" written all over them. Their latest "innovation" is to put Jamaica on their clothes. Why? Don't ask. (Because I don't know why..)

- White idiots from downtown Vancouver wear shirts that say Jamaica on it even though you know they would never have been to Jamaica before because 1) There probably isn't any resort that has a high enough star rating for them to get their parents to send them to in Jamaica 2) You can't take Cocaine overseas with you.

- There is an average of a car accident a day outside my window. The drivers around here suck.

- With the risk of the being racist and offending everyone, there are alot of Asian Women around here. Do the math (Although I see all sorts getting out after the accidents)

- You know the movie Clueless? There are actually people like that... that movie was documentary.

- Someone named Biff Naked is famous here.

- Major League 2 is more popular than Major League 1.

- The other day at work, a bunch of us were cleaning a shelf, and there was dirt on the shelf. The conversation went as follows
Mike - We'd better clean the sand off the shelf.
Other Canadians (in unison) - Yes, let us clean the sand off the shelve
Me - You guys are all fucking nuts!! That's not sand, its dirt!!
Then I remembered that English Bay (the greatest beach in Canada..) (yes i just made that up) has sand like this..

A pile of English Bay "sand"

Me - Oh, wait.. yeah, Exaaacccccctly.

- Canadian beaches (from what i've seen) suck.

- Canadian clubs and pubs close too early, but make up for this with table service.

- Vancouver is also known as Hongcouver because of the large Honky (Hong Kong) population

- There is no decent Nasi Goreng or Portugese Chicken in Vancouver.

- The building that supposedly houses Sly Stallone has a tree growing out of it. (it's a high rise)

- There is an intersection on Robson Street (downtown Vancouver) that has two starbucks, on either side of the road, and you still don't get alot of star for your buck (drumroll please)

- Saying to Canadian's "What are you talking aboot? Ehhh?? draws nothing but blank faces from Canadians, yet the next sentence out of their mouth is usually

"You know, that thing aboot, ehh?? Exaaaaaaaccctttly?? Hockey!! I love Hockey!! Power Play!! Puck Puck!!" (Passes out on floor)



That's about it. I can't think of anything else right now. I'm tired. Piss off, im gonna buy a Jamaica hoody.