Alaska - Anchorage

After my early departure from the State Capital of Alaska, Juneau, I moved on to the biggest city in Alaska, Anchorage.

For once in my life I actually managed to sleep on the plane, and I REALLY slept, I slept for all of the 2 hour flight.. which was an absolute miracle for me (I'm not exactly the most comfortable flier) I woke up right as the captain announced that we were approaching Anchorage and I was treated to some spectacular views of barren Alaska from my window. It was pretty breathtaking and made me think that I probably should had stayed awake for the flight because I missed alot of cranking views... oh well, such is life. Here is a photo I took.


Mountains

The first thing I noticed about these mountains was the lack of vegetation, I pretty much figured this was down to the cold-ass climate that this area endures for most of the year. I wouldn't want to grow there if I was a tree either.

I touched down in Sunny (and yes, it really was SUNNY - and fairly warm) Anchorage and found that the hotel I had booked (I had become fed up with Hostels for a while and wanted to live like a king for a few days) did not offer a shuttle from the airport like I had originally believed they did. I decided that the taxi drivers could blow me because I wasn't going to pay $20 to get into town and waited for the bus instead. After about 30 minutes I was on my way and got dropped off a couple of blocks from my hotel. Which was a Howard Johnson. My first impression of downtown Anchorage was that it was a city. Just like every other city I had ever been to. Only this one was in Alaska, one of the most inhospitable places in the world, yet here was a city with 200,000 people equipped with J.C Penny, McDonalds and all the rest of it. It was kinda.. weird.

Anyway, I trooped off to my hotel and promptly fell asleep. I got up a bit later in the day and walked around downtown Anchorage (which consisted of a couple of streets) and got bored pretty quickly. There wasn't anything of particular note there at all. I ended up having a couple of beers at a pub and a pub meal (Halibut), sampled a few different beers that I had never had before then went home and crashed into bed.

The next day I spelt until about midday and consulted my lonely planet guide and decided that I would wander down to the 12km walk that ran next to the ocean. It has a fancy name but I can't remember it.. After about an hour I saw a sign that stated something like

"Moose Country - What to do if you see Moose" as well as other assorted bits of information about Moose that would come in handy if you ever get attacked by one. Local lore has it that they carry about cleavers and chop off the heads of wandering Australians. This might just be a tale told by idiots though.

All i remember is that if the Moose's ears are back it means it is hungry and is trying to get you to feed it by looking pleasant. :|

Nah, really this means that the moose has the shits and will charge you if you keep pissing it off.

Anyway, so i thought - hey, this could be an awesome way to see a moose.. i might just keep walking

So I did, and I walked and I walked and I walked. I felt just like Forrest Gump. I figured I had nothing better to do, so I just kept walking.

I walked about 30km that day, I walked passed the airport that I was at the previous day, passed the "Earthquake Zone" where there was some remnants of a big earthquake that dumped half of Anchorage into the Ocean about 50 years ago (Incidently, Alaska has a massive percentage of the worlds earthquake activity.. I didn't know this and now I'll bet you feel heaps smarter (but then again, you are reading my blog so your I.Q will be going down progressively with each word you read so you are in a no win situation really)) and passed lots of stuff when finally some dude walked passed me and warned,

"Big Moose up ahead."

to which I replied

"Cool!"

I'd never felt like such an Aussie in my life. The guy was probably warning me so I didn't get my nuts kicked off by a Moose and I was happy about it all.

Anyway, I kept walking for about 10 minutes and I started to think that the jerk that had told me there was a moose up ahead was being a prick and just getting me excited because I was tourist but then I turned a corner.. and there is was!!

A tree!

Hang on, no a

Moose!

Equipped with a little baby Moose. It was pretty cool, the Mother kept putting its ears back and I was pretty tempted to feed it, luckily I didn't have any food. After gawking at it for about 15 minutes and taking a bunch of photos and a video, I turned around and walked back the opposite direction back to my hotel.


Moose with the calf. I wanted to see a Moose with horns, but I got to see one of those at the Zoo.

All in all I walked for about 8 hours. It was awesome. On the way home I stopped off at a couple of pubs, got a few beers (one from a pub that didn't have beer on tap?!?!? WTF?!?!) and a pub meal, got a bit drunk then went home and watched something on TV. I cant remember what it was, its not really important.

The next day I got up and decided to go to the Zoo. I got some wacked bus map of the city and figured out how to get there, it took 2 different buses and about 3km of walking (!) again. Stupid buses. On the plus side I found about 3 golf balls on the way there, so it wasn't all bad.

I had heard that the zoo had a Grizzly bear that hung out with a Polar Bear, so when I got there and discovered that the Grizzly bear had been moved somewhere else I was a bit dissapointed. There was a fair few animals that were kinda cool though. The Grizzly bears, the black bears, there were foxes, owls a Polar Bear that slept the whole time. I waited for about 10 minutes for it to move but it didn't.. then I came back about 20 minutes later and the bastard had changed positions, only now it had its back towards the gallery area. What an asshole. I also saw a Lama (I was scared of it, I thought it was going to spit at me, those things look pretty crazy), some big Yak things, a Moose with horns and a Tiger (in Alaska.. interesting)

I pretty much took a photo of every animal that was there but here is a picture of the Grizzly Bear. After seeing this thing I have decided that I do NOT want to see one in the wild, they are friggen massive!


Fat Grizzly Bear

After that the Zoo Keeper kicked me out and I walked back towards the bus stop but then I figured I'd just walk back to the first bus stop I took since it was only a 10 minute bus ride (it turned out it was a 1 hour walk though) and I found a pizza place that had all you can eat for $10. It was pretty nice and reminded me of an eat in pizza place back home that my mate Rob and I used to go to during Uni (usually in place of class)
On the way home I stopped in at Chilliwack Charlies (One of those places where people who have been to a particular city say "If you can't get laid at 's you can't get laid anywhere" (needless to say I didn't get laid). It was pretty good though, a place that has about 10 bars with all different themes. I sat down for one beer and some redneck started talking to me about baseball stadiums or some such rubbish so i finished my beer and left.

I stopped in at another pub after I got freshened up back at the Hotel and sampled a few more beers, watched a live act (usual 3 piece pub band - pretty crap) Got some pub grub, went home drunk and fell asleep.

The next day I checked out of the hotel, got my plane back to Seattle. Waited in Seattle airport for 7 hours for my connecting flight - got zero sleep but got to listen to idiot American news reporters blabber on about the rating of the second cyclone that went through Texas. I mean who FUCKING CARES about what rating the storm is? How about you report about how it sucks that people are losing their livelyhood by getting a big fucking storm come through and total their houses and fuck up all their shit. Assholes. I hate sensationalism in the media in the states. Morons.

Anyway my plane came, I went back to Vancouver and then I fell asleep for the next few days and was depressed for a long time. Overall it was an awesome trip though - a little pricey and all, and I wish I had more time/money to see more of Alaska because its too damn big to do in 10 days or whatever it took for me to see it, but totally worth it. I give it a giant thumb up.

Quiz Results

You guys all suck.

Perfect Day

From Angelo..

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER…

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh-in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed—freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer

10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave

12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café

12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 17 kgs

1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit

3:00 Nap

4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer

4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk—says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers

10:00 Hot shower- alone

10:50 Carried to bed… freshly ironed, crisp, white linen

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms


THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM…

6:00 Alarm

6:15 Blow job

6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section

7:00 Breakfast—steak and eggs, coffee and toast—all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot

7:30 Limo arrives

7:45 Several beers en route to the airport

9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet

9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)

9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)

11:45 Lunch—steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon

12:15 Blow job

12:30 Play back nine (4 under)

2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)

2:30 Fly to Bahamas

3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot

4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)—on light tackle

5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over, naturally)

6:45 Shit, shower and shave

7:00 Watch news—Michael Jackson assassinated

7:30 Dinner—lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits

9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game

9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies

11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer

11:30 Night-cap blow job

11:45 In bed alone

11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

Fog Explaination

Here is my idea of why the fog in Vancouver won't go away.. study the following diagram carefully..


Diagram 1.a

Just in case you can't read the labels. They say, Wind, Fog and Rockies. It's not rocket science.

Notice how the wind is blowing in a Westerly direction? This wind is blowing the fog into the Rocky mountains.
Again notice how much bigger the rocky mountains are than Vancouver? (not to mention more colourful) The fog just has nowhere to go. It is stuck on Vancouver. For ever.

Nobody Can Defeat the Blob.. err I mean Fog

HI.

My name is Cameron Murray and I will be presenting to you a short story about the foggiest city in the known world, Vancouver.

Vancouver is really foggy.

It is so foggy, the president of Fogtonia (located just near Uranus) called the Mayor of Vancouver (known to Vancouverite's as Mr Mayor, or Mr Coove. Close friends just call him Jim. I like to call him Mayor Jim Coove. Too schmoo for Schoo) and asked for a loan of Fog (Fogtonia is running low because of the illegal use of Fog as a laxative)

And a recap of the previous paragraph, minus parenthesese (sp?)

It is so foggy, the president of Fogtonia called the Mayor of Vancouver and asked for a loan of Fog.

The other day I was walking down the street and got shouldered out of the way by a wall of fog!

The fog called and told me to get out of town because I was the wrong colour. (As in I was a colour other than dank)

Kicker for CFL team Toronto Argonauts Mr Prefontaine, is considering changing his name to Mr Prefogtaine. And the Argonauts are considering changing their team name to something that actually makes sense. (At least its better than Montreal's team name, the Alloweata's.. and no, i cant spell. Doesn't alloweata just strike fear into your heart??)

300lb line backer - Oh gosh no, we are playing the Alloweata's. I hope they don't start singing again!

Fog hockey has taken over from Ice Hockey as Vancouver's favourite passtime. Fog hockey involves a bunch of guys running around taking swings at the fog. Score is kept by cheering females.

East Hastings crime rate has his an all time low, due to the fog. Junkies are having trouble seeing their own arms and/or victims.

Robson Street has been renamed to Fog Street and all the snobs are staying indoors because nobody can see them turn their noses up at everyone anymore.

Egg nog has been renamed to Fog Nog.

The rocky mountains are presumed lost, they have not been seen in 5 days. If anyone knows anyone, please call the office of the Mayor Jim Coove.

The annual Canadian Football cup is being played in Vancouver this year. This event is known as the Grey Cup. No change required >> endl;













A picture of the fog, notice the building across the street.

That's about it, in other news. It sucks to have to get up at 4 in the morning, BC Lions suck at winning Semi Finals and I can't wait until this weekend.

Rock on world.

Huff

R.I.P Eddie.

God bless the Socceroo's.

A List of Things of Weird Canadian Things. Things

- Canadian's say "Exaaaaactly" to demonstrate agreance.
eg/ Me - Oh, so that's what a power play is..
Canadian - Exaaaaaaactly.

- Canadians call a spanner a "Half-Crescent silver screw popper", then make fun of Australians for saying "spanner" by enounciating the "er" part of the word.
eg/ Randy - Hey, Cameron can you pass me the Half-Crescent silver screw popper?"
Me - wtf are you talking about?
Randy - You know, the SpannAAAAA (giggling to himself)
Me - Pfft

- Canadian's are part of the commonwealth yet spell the word "organisation" incorrectly.

- Canadian's like hockey. Alot.

- Canadian's word for mate is "buddy"

- Canadian's don't know what "Macca's" is. I had to explain this to someone.

- Uni is not a word in the Canadian dictionary.
eg/ Me - Yeah, sure I went to Uni.
Laura - What? Are you talking about Dungeon's and Dragon's? The Unicorn's name on that show was Uni.
Me - Uhh, yeah. sure.

- Canadian's minimum pay rate is $8.00 an hour. ( I know this because that is what I get paid)

- The Vancouver Cunucks (The Vancouver NHL (ice-hockey) team)) home games were sold out before the start of the season, for the whole season. Every, single, fucking, ticket.

- Downtown Vancouver has more Starbucks per capita than teenage girls with an IQ of >100

- Tim Horton's (an ex hockey player coffee chain, who now happens to be ex-alive (a.k.a dead, deceased, passed-on,away etc)) puts nicotine in their coffee!! (please don't sue me Mr Horton)

- I also hear that Macdonalds puts drugs in their Big Mac's. (Please don't sue)

- In British Columbia, Weed is easier to get during winter than a glimpse of the Sun.

- Bum's outnumber the combined total of the teenage downtown population I.Q's.

- People from Vancouver hate Toronto

- The Toronto Raptors suck.

- There aren't any Raptors in Toronto.

- Someone built a tunnel from Canada to the states to smuggle weed, the police waited until the tunnel was opened then shut it down. Sadistic Bastards..

- There is a place called the Amsterdam Cafe, where you can.. umm, smoke and buy weed from? The cops know its there, Weed is illegal.. what am I missing here? (It's located across from a place called the Seed Palace or something.

- Just down the road from the Amsterdam Cafe is the Cambie Hotel, where the most famous man in the city resides. Known as the Jukebox Man (there are several of them, so technically it should be the Jukebox men), he sits in the same place, day after day and sells.. weed. The cops surely know about him, weed is illegal.. hmm what am I missing here?

- Pedestrians have right of way in intersections where there are no lights for crossing, but cars don't stop. It's basically a free for all.

- There are 4 way stop signs. (First in, best dressed). Don't get me started on the roundabouts. Thank god they are rare, I still haven't figured out which way I should be looking when I cross the street.

- Sometimes, you don't get to press the button to make the green walk man come out.

- The green walk man is pigment free (in other words, he is colourless.. no green men for Canadians.)

- The stop man is still red though.

- So you have a white go man and a red stop man. The same colours as the Canadian flag. It's some sort of government conspiracy/code/sign/illegal camera thing, im sure of it

- Canadians have stupid names for their shops. Like Future Shop. This place doesn't have ANYTHING from the Future in it. It's all stuff that has already been invented. Like CD's and shit like that. Misleading? Shit yeah. Then there is "The Bay". Think there is any water there?, what about The Source? You are thinking they sell stuff to put on your chips? WRONG!! (Dickhead) They sell Electronics (Just shit that has already been invented though). What about Loonie Town? Think you will find a bunch of crazies there? Fuck no!! What a let down!! And the Commodore Ball room? Cars? This place is a friggen nightclub! The Stone Temple? No trace of God. Another night club! And Vera Burger? Plenty of Burgers but no sign of Vera anywhere. What about The Gap? I walked in expecting to fall into a hole (then sue the pants off of them). No sign of a hole but plenty of pants. What about this one... The Roots. I went in there expecting to find all sorts of kinky shit and all they sell are clothes with "CANADA" written all over them. Their latest "innovation" is to put Jamaica on their clothes. Why? Don't ask. (Because I don't know why..)

- White idiots from downtown Vancouver wear shirts that say Jamaica on it even though you know they would never have been to Jamaica before because 1) There probably isn't any resort that has a high enough star rating for them to get their parents to send them to in Jamaica 2) You can't take Cocaine overseas with you.

- There is an average of a car accident a day outside my window. The drivers around here suck.

- With the risk of the being racist and offending everyone, there are alot of Asian Women around here. Do the math (Although I see all sorts getting out after the accidents)

- You know the movie Clueless? There are actually people like that... that movie was documentary.

- Someone named Biff Naked is famous here.

- Major League 2 is more popular than Major League 1.

- The other day at work, a bunch of us were cleaning a shelf, and there was dirt on the shelf. The conversation went as follows
Mike - We'd better clean the sand off the shelf.
Other Canadians (in unison) - Yes, let us clean the sand off the shelve
Me - You guys are all fucking nuts!! That's not sand, its dirt!!
Then I remembered that English Bay (the greatest beach in Canada..) (yes i just made that up) has sand like this..

A pile of English Bay "sand"

Me - Oh, wait.. yeah, Exaaacccccctly.

- Canadian beaches (from what i've seen) suck.

- Canadian clubs and pubs close too early, but make up for this with table service.

- Vancouver is also known as Hongcouver because of the large Honky (Hong Kong) population

- There is no decent Nasi Goreng or Portugese Chicken in Vancouver.

- The building that supposedly houses Sly Stallone has a tree growing out of it. (it's a high rise)

- There is an intersection on Robson Street (downtown Vancouver) that has two starbucks, on either side of the road, and you still don't get alot of star for your buck (drumroll please)

- Saying to Canadian's "What are you talking aboot? Ehhh?? draws nothing but blank faces from Canadians, yet the next sentence out of their mouth is usually

"You know, that thing aboot, ehh?? Exaaaaaaaccctttly?? Hockey!! I love Hockey!! Power Play!! Puck Puck!!" (Passes out on floor)



That's about it. I can't think of anything else right now. I'm tired. Piss off, im gonna buy a Jamaica hoody.

What's going on?

So sayeth the wise alamo.

I don't even know what that means, but it seemed like it was something intelligent to write to kick off my newest and greatest mass email.

This one is going to be fairly short though, because I haven't really been doing a great deal and I am not in the mood to be too funny... just funny, but not too funny. (Or maybe not at all depending on your sense of humour. I'm sure Mum will think im just being an idiot as per usual.. Hello!!)

Anyway, news to report from Canada is like so

I had originally planned (actually it was more a spur of the moment thing.. but for me thats planning, making my mind up is planning..) to go to the ski fields and had hired a car and driven to the ski fields, had a bunch of interviews and got a couple of job offers, taken one, then recently decided that I was going to stay in Vancouver. I really was looking forward to going to the ski fields, but my Taurean (read, sensible) side came out and decided that it would be in my best interest to stay in Vancouver for a few months and work. This way I don't need to pay money on a bond, finding a place to live, the bus fare up to the ski fields and whatever extra furniture etc. I may have needed to buy to set myself up.

So my current plan is to work in Vancouver (I have a job at a grocery store, in a week or so I will be working in the bakery. 5am starts will be interesting) until mid January. Then Mark and his lovely wife.. umm, i mean girlfriend, Jodie, are coming to town and we are going to hang out for a while, head down to Seattle and watch an NBA game (my life long ambition, I won't have a reason to exist after I see that). Once Mark and Jodie head off, Matt, Dale and I are going to go on a road trip down the Western coast of the U.S. We are planning on seeing a whole bunch of things, (like San Fran, some of the national parks, Las Vegas etc) and my plan right now is to stop at San Diego, fly back to Vancouver (or catch a bus, whatever is cheaper), then go to Whistler for a week to get my ski quota in. I am guessing this will be late February sometime.

Depending on the money situation I will probably either then work for a little bit in Vancouver or I will head straight over to Montreal and maybe work there for a while. I am not too sure.

For those of you who have asked, it is looking like I will be back late March or April sometime, but again this can change at the drop of a hat (or at the drop of my wallet)

I hope everyone is doing well and are in good spirits, my heart goes out to all of you.

Halloween - Pub Crawl (With Pictures)

Halloween, another event that Canadian's and American's love to party down and drop trowl on (and blowing out a cleveland steamer on people's chests) was held on Monday. I celebrated it in true Australian style by getting drunk on Saturday night.

Here is a run down of the nights events (I love run downs)

- Fell asleep during the day - late afternoonish and woke up around 6. The pub crawl tickets stated that the starting time for the bruhaha was 5. I dressed quicklyish, gave myself a quickerish inspection in the mirror, vomited and cringed (that didnt really happen. I was pleased. Very.) and exited the building, my budy Matt in tow. Or invetero. What? Huh? Did I mention that we dressed up as cowboys? Man, I was on fire.

- Got to the place, club, pub, thing.. whatevvvvver, then found out that the party bus (a yellow school bus) had already left and gone onto its next "secret" location. After smashing the bouncer to a pulp and grinding the guys hand into the ground, he told us that the bus and patrons had gone to the Red Room.

The Red Room (So Red, it gets a capital R)

- We jumped in the cab, went to the Red Room (its not all that red. Its more of a dark poo colour) and went inside. We were greeted by a cavalcade of costumes and drunken canadians. There were Genie's (The I dream of variety), police, that guy from A Clockwork Orange, a near nude spider man, some prisoners, and some girl in a pink scarf thing. Matt and I got 2 shots of Jaeger and a beer, downed them in quick succession and the night was "officially" underway

You will have to excuse me, as im typing this Wayne's World 2 is on tevelision so I've having huge tempations to write quotes from it mid sentence.. Here's one.

"I might just stay here and lick the cat's butt.."

- Matt and I leaned up against the bar, true cowboy style, and drank a few more beers, surveying the crowd. Random girls came up to us. Well one anyway, and she was drunk but we sure were getting some looks from the crowd. It was probably because we looked like idiots, but you never can tell.. I think the most memorable moment from this part of the night was the Canadian crowd watching the ice-hockey, the guy from a Clockwork Orange hooting and cheering, very out of character.

- After a little bit the DJ announced the party bus was leaving, Matt and I had just ordered a new beer so we had to scull them. Tough, but I did it. I'is da best (Thanks, Bromwell high) We jumped on the party bus, sat right up the back and got driven to our next secret location. Turns out it was Richards on Richards (or as the locals like to call it, Richards on Richards


Artie Fartie

Richards on Richards (Dick on Dicks)

- Matt and I filed in, got a few beers.. well one each and drank them. Got approached by Genie, who seemed to want to know people who were staying in Vancouver longer than a day and a few weeks respectively, we sent her on her way. Then we got approached by the chick with the feathery scarf and her friend, I can't remember what she was wearing really.. but the scarf wearing girl started talking to me and asked me a few questions and the conversation ended up with something like this

Me - blah blah blah blah, something inane, stupid attempt at witty remark (Thinking to myself that this girl is trashed)
Her - I have a boyfriend
Me - Uhh, That's good news (Wondering why this is important news to tell me.)

Usually I would expect that sort of thing if I was the one that approached the girl and she didn't want a bar of me (It happens alot, the line, not me approaching girls, im too shy)

Matt and I started to get a little drunk at this point, so the next few bits are a bit of a blur so I'll try to remember as best I can, and embelish alot of it.


Matt Getting Down.

The DJ announced again that the party bus was leaving, so we all went outside, talked some random crap to random people, jumped on the bus, got my crotch grabbed by some girl in quick succession and slumped down onto the seat at the back. The bus drove us down to a place called Azures.. or something

Azures

This place was located right near the casino. This is not a good thing. Matt and I joined the mega queue, both of us singing the Kayne West song "Gold Digger". Matt a fair bit louder than me. We also started talking to these Australian guys. I pretty much was paying out on them. Then there was some girl who we said something to, it was probably something stupid.

Anyway so we eventually got into the club, Matt stopping off to sing the chorus of Gold Digger to the lady letting people in, she thought it was funny (apparantly)

I can't really remember the next few hours, i think it involved drinking and talking to random people. Eventually we got a (long overdue) call from Dale, who was outside, I let him in, knocking aside the bouncers and consumed a few more drinks. It was around about this time that things got really hazy


30 minutes AD (After Dale)

Events were something like this

- Danced around
- Talked to the devil in the blue dress
- Stole some bread rolls and a beer out of the bar
- Went to the casino
- Dale and I sat at the blackjack table, won about $65
- Lost about $65
- Found bread roll on my seat (Matt had gone back to the club (which had closed!!) jumped the fence and taken a few bread rolls, stuffed them into his pockets and came back into the casino)
- Left the blackjack table, found Matt downstairs feeling sick, having eaten half of fish and chips that he ordered
- Ate some fish and chips
- Left casino, started talking to two girls who were lifeguards or something. Talked some random crap to them
- Jumped into a limo with life guard girls, life guard girls get out, limo guys attempts to charge us $50 for a 5 minute ride, we pay him $20 and walk away. He is mad. We go to bed. What a fun night. Fun Fun Fun,

I love Halloween.

Drunk!

From Angelo, creater of Dylan Bradley - Harsh but funny

There was a guy in a bar one night who got really drunk, really, really, really drunk.

When the bar closed he got up to go home.

As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk so he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face.

Shocked, the nun felt her knees go beneath her but before she could do or say anything he punched her again.

This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the bottom, then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.

By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much.

Then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said................




"NOT VERY STRONG TONIGHT ARE YOU, BATMAN?"